Titmouse

“I landed in this country with $2.50 in cash and $1 million
in hopes, and those hopes never left me.”

Charles Ponzi

After eternal torture in an abyss by a masked woman, Antelope Xastro discovers he is the CEO of Nive, a social media app. When the Minnesota Vikings hack Nive to unsuccessfully ransom back user data, quarterbacks Kirk Cousins and Sean Mannion must go to Silicon Valley to assassinate Xastro. While new Nive employee Pat deals with integrating into his Nive-assigned family life, his co-worker Jane realizes she is a deity. Meanwhile, South Pole animals plot against humanity and a talking titmouse claims the apocalypse is nigh.

This is not a show but a series of sleep paralysis demons. A loop of auditions. In fact, there are only three episodes of script and that’s all there will ever be: this show will retell the same story with shifted characters again and again, though with ad-libs and new jokes aplenty.

SETTING

That period in the late 2010s where it felt like it was all gonna collapse around us but never actually arrived at social anarchy. Settings range from an office building to a dark abyss to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

TONE

You got too high and are trying to pretend everything is cool.

AUDIENCE APPEAL

• It’s a Broadway revival with celebrities taking on beloved, known roles.
• It’s a YouTube video of your favorite stars auditioning for Jim Halpert.
• It’s rewatching your favorite show over and over; the churn of something both new and comfortably familiar.
• It’s your favorite celebrity or influencer loving the show and then coming aboard to do Cleveland-McKinley-Nurse or Henry-Pat-Frank or G.M.-Sean-Kirk-Xastro-Quacks-Dick — like a longer turn at hosting SNL.
• You even can shoot a few loops all at once, actors rotating roles, moving along location by location; whoever’s reading this likes saving money. Release a few loops, then once in a while throw more episodes in. “Titmouse Season 1 continues” – a “reboot” viewers actually expect.

WHY MAKE THIS SHOW TODAY

Capitalism will replace us all. The goal posts will keep moving. The generational agony of going to work while understanding the impending and superseding destruction of climate change. Every single day, we’re pushing a dead whale into the ocean. It’s about time a show not only acknowledged that everything we do is seemingly to eat the clock until the earth turns into soup, but that that is a hilarious and adorable thing for humanity to do. Love is always worth it, even if it won’t last.

YOU HAVE JUST READ THE PILOT AND ARE ASKING WHAT THE FUCK

There are slight adjustments throughout the loops, like the new team of “Kirk and Sean,” but the biggest changes would be letting actors reimagine each role, letting funny people improvise — viewers getting their sought peek at how the sausage gets made. The actors that never change are Jane, Gia, Leah, Titmouse, Tina, Nan, Inge, Emperor, Weddell, Yellow-Eye, and Uzi. The characters that are new every time are the Denny’s patron, Orca, Nan’s man, and the team owner – therefore the most ripe for quicker cameos.